Today we launch the PBA News Agency. Pseudo Bulbar Affect News: “When you don’t know whether to laugh or cry”. Below is the initial report, filed at Instapundit:
///BREAKING///MUST CREDIT PBA NEWS///
Latest poll shows Congress’s opinion of electorate at all-time low. 78% of Representative consider consider voters dim-witted and ungrateful, an opinion shared by an astonishing 91% of Senators.
This stunning drop in trust of the public crosses all wealth groups, from the bottom quintile (net worth $2M – $5M) to the top quintile (net worth > $500M). Disappointment in constituents is bipartisan, with both Democrats and Republicans reporting significant drops in the quality of their people. A rare exception can be found among self-identifying “Tea Party” members, who obstinately continue to find the voters to be “concerned”, “informed” and “engaged”. It is unclear from the survey whether these differences are attributable to real differences in the voting population or the inexperience of Tea Party elected officials.
One member of Congress, who insisted upon anonymity (“The vaguest hunt of who I am will result in your entire life becoming a hot topic at the IRS, NSA, HHS, EPA, EEOC, DOD, DOJ right down to the National Endowment for the Arts. Am I making myself clear?”), told the PBA’s reporter that in recent years, voters had turned “surly, whiny and mulish”. “I came to D.C.to govern, and these ingrates have become all but ungovernable. They act like their rights were handed down by God Himself. It’s gotten to where the Congressional recesses aren’t fun any more. I long for the day when we are back in session, and the rabble can’t just pop into my office to ‘share’ their ‘views’. They’re not the lead dog, so their view never changes.”
Congress seems uncertain how to proceed. With elections coming up in just over a year, there are some hopeful glimmers. “I’d love to just fire them all and start over”, said a completely different anonymous member of Congress. “But there are too… many of them. The best we can hope for is that they stay home on election day.”
///Story filed 10-12-2013 by Pseudo Bulbar Affect News, “The news source for