White House Annoyed By First Amendment

November 26, 2013. Dateline Washington DC. PBA News report

Faced with the prospect of being unable to silence Tea Party groups by denying them tax-exempt status, the White House has decided to silence them by denying them freedom of speech.

“Let me be perfectly clear”, said President Obama in an impromptu press conference. “I took an oath to uphold and defend those portions of the Constitution that I believe are beneficial to the country. My job of fundamentally transforming America is made unnecessarily difficult by obstructionists and reactionaries going around trying to scare the American people with tales about how I want to restrict freedom. This cannot be allowed to continue.”

Jay Carney, in a later press briefing called to clarify the President’s remarks, told the assembled journalists that the President in no way indicated in his remarks that any speech would be forbidden or banned. “‘Not allowed to continue’ means that the speech has taken place. The President’s position is that people are perfectly free to express their opinions, but they are not free to become bores, droning on and on with their petty complaints.” James Rosen, of Fox News, asked the press secretary whether President Obama had taken an oath of office different from the one taken by all his predecessors, before being escorted from the conference room by armed guards.

Tea Party groups were unavailable for comment. All telephone calls to their listed numbers were routed to the reception desk at NSA.

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